DISTANCE & TIME
IF RICH EQUALS WEALTH MULTIPLIED BY TIME, THEN THE ANXIETY ASSOCIATED WITH AGORAPHOBIA IS CAUSED BY DISTANCE FROM HOME TIMES THE TIME NEEDED TO GET BACK HOME (AMONG SOME OTHER FACTORS).
The premise is that the further away I am from home, the higher my anxiety climbs. The longer I am away, the more anxious I feel. Furthermore, when I go somewhere, the mode of transportation seems to matter. It is not just a matter of control.
I can drive roughly half the distance that I can ride as a passenger in a car, probably because I need to pay attention to the road. Alternatively, driving is substantially more difficult than being driven. Walking, or catching a bus or train rates as somewhere in between.
Formal desentization exercises started in December 2011. Agoraphobia peaked in late 2013, and has been receding since. I have determined that as a result every four months, the distance that I can travel increases by 2.42km. This figure has remained steady since 2014. We can call this distance a Time/Distance Unit or a TDU. On a scale of 0-5, with 0 being complete absence of anxiety, and 5.0 the worst possible panic attack, 1TDU equals 0.1/5., or 0.1 Distress Units (DUs)
Linear Decay for Distance, Parabolic for Time
APART FROM distance from home, there are many other things which can increase my anxiety, and some things which can help reduce it. These can be measured with TDUs. Drinking caffeine, which increases heartbeat, amplifies my anxiety by up to 3TDUs. Conversely, drinking 2 Standard Alcoholic Drinks (SADs) reduces my anxiety by 1TDU, as does taking 2mg of Valium. If I took 8mg of Valium, I could probably travel an extra 9.6km from home, or spend an hour comfortably at a place, where I can usually only spend 5 minutes. If I drank a strong coffee after taking that valium, it would reduce my ability to travel somewhat.
Moving My Home Base
LET"S IMAGINE that after 10 days of being in a new place, my anxiety level drops by one TDU. That means, if I were travelling across the country (or the world), I could travel by 2.42km every 10 days... or 240 meters by day. I could travel 90km per year, or 900km per decade (not counting distractions of course!)
BEING AT HOME (INSIDE)
(being inside boost: + 6 blocks)
HAVE PANIC ATTACK, BUT RARELY | ANXIETY LEVEL: 3.5DUs
1. Lying in bed after strenuous exercise: February 2, 2013.
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT VERY ANXIOUS (PRE-PANIC) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 2.5DUs
1. Lying in bed after drinking a Café Mocha, and having taken a magnesium supplement 2 days' previous; no lessons to come: May 10, 2019.
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT ANXIOUS (OVEREXPOSED) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 2DUs
1. Notice tight feeling in the stomach while listening to music on the computer, with 5 upcoming iTalki lessons: January 31, 2016. Feeling subsides after drinking 3SADs..
2. Teach 5 lessons in a row at home alone, without background noise and interruption: September 23, 2017.
CAPABLE OF DOING FOR A VERY SHORT STOP MIDWAY (5-10MIN) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6DUs
1. Completed online surveys while listening to music for about 20 minutes: November 2014.
2. I feel inspired to appreciate the view of the lake while working on a computer (no iTalki lessons this day), and listening to music: December 18, 2015.
2. Browsing Mum's computer on the back deck, before iTalki lesson: August 15, 2016.
3. Humming music in the shower with 8 classes in front of me: August 17, 2016.
4. Lying in bed before going to Wallarah Bay Recreation Club (drank 6 beers previous night, strong coffee after an absence of 5 days at McDonalds): January 28, 2019.
5. Listening to loud music while surfing the Net at Waldorf Apartments at The Entrance: February 20 2019. 20km from home.
CAPABLE OF DOING FOR A SHORT TIME (20-40MIN) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5
1. I can listen to music while working on a computer before iTalki lessons, in an empty house: September 23, 2015.
CAPABLE OF DOING FOR A LONG TIME (1-2 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5
1. Teaching a 1-hour lesson at home, without background noise and interruption: September 2015.
2. Sit with both feet on the floor while Mum and Dad are making lunch; 5 lessons to come: October 27, 2016.
3. Using computer in Halfway House after drinking McMocha with door open and TV on; 4 lessons to come: March 5 2020.
CAPABLE OF DOING FOR A VERY LONG TIME (2-4 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5
1. Teach 2 iTalki Lessons in a Row at Home Alone: December 30 2015.
CAN DO ALL DAY, BUT WITH BACKGROUND ANXIETY (4-8 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5
1. Being at home: August 2014. Base anxiety level: type 6.
BEING OUTSIDE
(driving handicap: 200 per cent)
WALKING
(handicaps: being outside)
HAVE PANIC ATTACK, BUT RARELY
1. Walking in Myoden, Chiba Prefecture, Japan: 2010. 2km from home.
2. Walking to Motoyawata, Chiba Prefecture, Japan: February 2011 (day of Christchurch Earthquake). 1.5km from home.
CAPABLE OF DOING FOR A VERY SHORT STOP MIDWAY (5-10MIN)
1. Walking through Bateau Bay Square: February 22, 2019. 24km from home..
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A MODERATELY SHORT STOP (10-20MINS)
1. Walking from Berkeley Vale to Kilkenny Road: February 8 2018. 19.6km from home.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH SHORT STOP MIDWAY (20-40MINS)
1. Walking from Wyong to Tuggerah Hungry Jacks: April 5 2017. 14km from home.
2. Walking from Wyong to Chittaway Coles: February 7 2018. 16.8km from home.
3. Walking/busing to Killarney Vale Coles Express: February 21, 2019. 24.5km from home.
4. Walking/busing to Bateau Bay: February 22, 2019. 26km from home.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A LONG STOP MIDWAY (1-2 HOURS)
1. San Remo. 13km round trip.
2. Gorokan Barber (getting haircut): January 6 2015. 5km round trip. (Let's assume a handicap of 2.5 units!)
3. Norah Head round trip (from a night base in Toukley!): June 8 2016. 8km round trip (destination 10km from home!)
4. Tuggerah Westfield: January 5 2018. 30km round trip.
5. Blue Bay: February 19, 2019. 21km from home.
6. Long Jetty: February 20, 2019. 22km from home.
7. Umina Point: September 19, 2023: 38km from home.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A VERY LONG STOP (2-4 HOURS)
1. Harvey Norman, Lake Haven: December 29 2014.
2. Toukley: January 14 2015. 11km round trip.
RIDING AS A PASSENGER (CAR)
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT VERY ANXIOUS (PRE-PANIC) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 2.5/5
1. Drive to Berkeley Vale Private Hospital with Mason in car: September 11, 2017. 37km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING QUICKLY, WITHOUT LOITERING, REASONABLY RELAXED
1. Drive to Berkeley Vale and Killarney Vale: October 1 2014. 54km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A MODERATELY SHORT STOP (10-20 MINUTES)
1. Tuggerah Westfield, via Motorway: January 4 2015. 44km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH SHORT STOP MIDWAY (20-40MIN)
1. Tuggerah.
3. Buttonderry Tip. 26km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A LONG STOP MIDWAY (1-2 HOURS)
1. Michael's House. 20km round trip.
2. Mardi. 36km round trip.
3. Baptism at St Cecilia's Church, Wyong: February 8, 2015.
3. The Entrance: October 26 2014. 40km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A VERY LONG STOP (2-4 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5.
1. Tacoma Oval: May 5 2016. 18km round trip.
2. The Entrance: October 23 2016. 39km round trip.
3. Pearl Beach: September 28, 2021. 82km round trip.
CATCHING A FERRY OR BOAT
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT VERY ANXIOUS (PRE-PANIC) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 2.5DUs
1. Empire Bay (on ferry from Woy Woy where I was staying!): May 26, 2023. 68km round trip (I returned to my hotel by bus and train.) Hung over; ferry was crowded and noisy; water was choppy, and I was confined due to heavy rain.
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT ANXIOUS (OVEREXPOSED) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 2DUs
1. Empire Bay (on ferry from Woy Woy): September 15, 2023. 68km round trip. Ferry was crowded and noisy. I stayed on board for about an hour.
CATCHING A BUS OR TRAIN
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT VERY ANXIOUS (PRE-PANIC) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 2.5/5
1. Tuggerah Westfield: December 8 2014. 34km round trip; journey time: 55 minutes.
2. Gwandalan/Summerland Point (on aborted trip to Morriset!): February 21, 2020. 50km round trip; journey time: 2 hours. Suffering from flu-like symptoms; confined to bus for long period.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A MODERATELY SHORT STOP (10-20 MINUTES) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH SHORT STOP MIDWAY (20-40MIN) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5.
1. Chittaway Coles (from a night base in Wyong!): February 2 2018. Walked 6km from hotel (destination 16.8km from home!)
2. Walking/busing to Killarney Vale Coles Express: February 21, 2019. 24.5km from home.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A LONG STOP (1-2 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5
1. Budgewoi town centre (Overexposed): October 3 2014. 22km round trip; journey time: 36mins.
2. San Remo Shopping Centre: April 20 2015. 10km round trip.
3. Noraville: September 15 2015. 14km round trip.
4. Watanobbi (Overexposed): January 11, 2016. 22km round trip.
5. Goorama Avenue #1, San Remo: February 16 2016. 11km round trip.
6. Wadalba: April 12 2016. 17km round trip.
7. Watanobbi: June 27 2016. 22km round trip.
8. Tuggerah Westfield: May 25 2018. 30km round trip.
9. The Entrance: July 13 2018. 41km round trip.
10. Wyee via Wyong on bus and train: November 9 2018. 24km round trip.
11. Ourimbah by train: October 3 2020. 27km round trip.
12. Awaba Station by train: February 10 2024. 84km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A VERY LONG STOP (2-4 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5.
1. The Entrance: February 15, 2019. 41km round trip.
2. Brooklyn: August 27 2024. 80km round trip/Appointment (meeting with Louise Adshead!)
DRIVING A CAR
(handicaps: speed, confinement, attention)
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT VERY ANXIOUS (PRE-PANIC) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 2.5/5
1. Wyburg via Budgewoi: . 32km round trip.
HAVE DONE, BUT FELT ANXIOUS (OVEREXPOSED)
1. Drive around Budgewoi Lake: June 18 2014. 24km round trip. Assuming unfamiliarity/new trip handicap of 400 per cent, speed handicap of 250 per cent.
2. Drive to Pelican Beach Road: August 30 2014. 22km round trip. Assuming unfamiliarity/new trip handicap of 300 per cent, speed handicap of 300 per cent.
3. Drive around Budgewoi Lake (via Doyalson, clockwise): November 11, 2014. 24km round trip.
4. Drive to Mannering Park for 5-minute stay after consuming magnesium supplement; 2 lessons to come: May 8, 2019. 25km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING QUICKLY, WITHOUT LOITERING, REASONABLY RELAXED
1. Drive to Budgewoi roundabout: May 11 2014. 20km round trip.
2. Drive to Wyong Station. 24km round trip.
3. Drive to Budgewoi roundabout #2. 22km round trip.
4. Drive around Budgewoi Lake (via San Remo): October 21 2014. 24km round trip.
5. Drive to Wyong town centre, return via Watanobbi: November 16, 2014. 28km round trip.
6. Drive to Magenta Shores Golf Club: January 24 2015. 26km round trip.
7. Wyong Christian Community School: February 26 2015. 26km round trip.
8. Buttonderry Waste Management Facility: March 3 2015. 26km round trip.
9. Tuggerah Straight: March 11 2015. 26km round trip.
10. Wyee (Gosford Road): April 2 2015. 18km round trip.
11. Doyalson RSL: April 3 2015.
12. Lake Munmorah: June 24 2015.
13. The Entrance North: July 8 2015. 32km round trip.
14. Wyee Railway Station (via Gosford Road): August 31 2015. 23km round trip.
15. Sunnylake Shores, Lake Munmorah (via Toukley): September 13, 2015. 32km round trip.
16. South Tacoma: September 23, 2015. 34km round trip.
17. Jilliby Cemetery: October 5 2015.
18. Wyong via Hue Hue Road: October 11 2015.
19. Wyee via Hue Hue Road, return via Charmhaven: December 26 2015. 20km round trip.
20. Wyburg via Budgewoi: January 19, 2016. 32km round trip.
21. Tuggerah Roundabout: January 29 2016.
22. Wyee via Bushells Ridge Road: July 15, 2016.
23. Webber Rd, Wyee: July 29, 2016. 24km round trip.
24. Roberts St, The Entrance North: August 25, 2016. 36km round trip.
25. Watagan Forest Drive, Jilliby: November 21, 2016. 34.8km round trip.
26. Bethshan Gardens, Wyee: December 10, 2016. 25.8km round trip.
27. Birdie Beach Drive, Freemans: December 26, 2016. 35.4km round trip.
28. Lake Munmorah Loop: January 11, 2017. 30km round trip.
29. Lake Munmorah Shopping Centre: May 25, 2017. 22km round trip.
30. The Entrance: June 29, 2017. 40km round trip.
31. TreeTops Wyong Creek: September 6, 2017. 40km round trip.
32. Berkeley Vale Private Hospital: November 2, 2017. One-way trip: 18.7km.
33. Ivy Ave, Chain Valley Bay: November 28, 2017. 29.4km round trip.
34. Picnic Point Reserve, The Entrance: January 16, 2018. 42km round trip.
35. Geoofrey Road/Church Road, Chittaway Point: April 27, 2018. 35.4km round trip
36. Berkeley Vale Shopping Centre: June 1, 2018. 38.8km round trip.
37. Yarramalong: November 14, 2018. 58km round trip.
38. Dooralong: January 15, 2019. 52km round trip.
39. Ourimbah (via Berkeley Vale): October 7, 2019. 53km round trip.
40. Ravensdale Road Turnoff: May 22, 2020. 70km round trip.
41. Lisarow Roundabout: September 29, 2020. 34km round trip.
42. Cooranbong via Mandalong and Wyee: February 24, 2022. 72km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH VERY SHORT STOP MIDWAY (5-10MIN)
1. Drive to Budgewoi roundabout: June 22 2014. 24km round trip.
2. Warnervale Railway Station: June 28 2014. 16km round trip.
3. Soldiers Beach: July 2 2014. 18km round trip.
4. Drive to Baker Park, Wyong: September 1, 2014.
5. Drive to Pelican Beach Road: September 10 2014. 22km round trip. May have benefited from danger boost.
6. Drive to Kooindah Waters Golf Club: December 16 2014. 22km round trip.
7. Drive to Warnervale Airport: January 12 2015. 20km round trip.
8. Drive to Budgewoi roundabout #2. 28km round trip: February 10 2015. 28km round trip.
9. Drive to Magenta Shores Golf Club: January 24 2015. 26km round trip.
10. Wyong Christian Community School (stopping at Watanobbi): July 30 2015. 26km round trip.
11. Wyee (Gosford Road): August 27 2015. 26km round trip.
12. Jilliby Cemetery (via Wyong): June 22, 2016.
13. Wyee Shops: December 4 2016.
14. Elizabeth Bay Park: January 16 2017. 32km round trip.
15. Karagi Point Reserve, North Entrance: January 20, 2017. 35km round trip.
16. Zenith Building, Tuggerah: June 11 2018. 30km round trip.
17. Palmdale Cemetery: July 2, 2018. 39km round trip.
18. Freeman's Waterhole: August 18, 2023: 80 km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH MODERATELY SHORT STOP MIDWAY (10-20MIN)
1. Drive to Norah Head. 19km round trip.
2. Drive to San Remo: June 26 2014. 20km round trip.
3. Drive to Blue Haven: July 22 2014. 20km round trip.
4. Drive to Budgewoi roundabout: August 3 2014. 24km round trip
5. Waiting at OPSM, Lake Haven Shopping Centre: August 23 2014. 2.5km round trip.
6. Soldiers Beach: November 12 2014. 18km round trip.
7. Drive to Budgewoi Coles (shopping): January 21 2016. 24km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH SHORT STOP MIDWAY (20-40MIN)
1. Drive to Toukley. 11km round trip.
2. Drive to Hamlyn Terrace. 11km round trip.
3. Drive to Norah Head: September 6 2014. 19km round trip.
4. Drive to San Remo: November 30 2014. 15km round trip.
5. Drive to Toukley Coles (shopping): January 15 2015. 11km round trip.
6. Drive to Tuggerah Westfield (shopping): August 8 2018. 30km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A LONG STOP MIDWAY (1-2 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5
1. Gorokan Barber (taking Dad): August 7 2014. 5km round trip.
2. Gorokan Dentist, taking Dad: August 21 2014. 5km round trip.
3. Drive to Hamlyn Terrace. 11km round trip.
4. Lunch at Yoga Café at Long Jetty with the Kelstar: March 13 2018. 44km round trip.
5. Appointment with Dr Goriptai at Berkeley Vale Private Hospital: April 27 2020. 37.4km round trip.
CAPABLE OF DOING WITH A VERY LONG STOP (2-4 HOURS) | ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.6/5.
1. Drive with Kelstar to Norah Head: March 10 2019. 21km round trip. 6 lessons to come.
KEY
Action first completed autumn 2014
Action first completed winter 2014
Action first completed spring 2014
Action first completed summer 2014/15
Action first completed autumn 2015
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Action first completed summer 2015/16
Action first completed autumn 2016
Action first completed winter 2016
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Action first completed winter 2017
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August 18 2023
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