SUSHI WITH NAMES LIKE VOLCANO ROLL, SPIDER ROLL AND DYNAMITE ROLL (THE LATTER BOASTING PIECES OF TENDER RAW TUNA AND A SMEAR OF CHILI SAUCE (according to a review of the Kobe Jones restaurant in Sydney by Not Quite Nigella)). Wagyu beef which isn't actually wagyu and never could be. Sashimi in shot glasses. Wagyu beef paddies on hamburgers (this was reported by Chocolate Suze.) Mayo in sushi restaurants. I know the Japanese have an abusive relationship with mayonaise, but they would never mix it up with sushi! Nor would they ever put sashimi in a shot glass. In the Japanese scheme of things, shot glasses are for shots and sashimi is supposed to be served on a plate! Why is it that when Australians try to show how sophisticated they have become, they usually overreach? The Cultural Cringe 2.0.

SO, WHAT ARE AUSTRALIANS LIKE? Australians have typically been described as laconic, egalitarian, rugged, no-nonsense, down-to-earth types obsessed with sport but uneducated in the more refined arts of civilization. There may be truth to the cliche, but as with any cliche, it can only describe one layer of the truth. And the whole idea of the UNCLONED WORLD website is to show that there are many layers to reality, each piled on top of another onion-style. In order to understand the Australians, you have to understand where they can from. As I wrote on the previous page, there have been four principal migrations of humans into Australia. The first three were Aboriginal waves, and the fourth, which continues today, began with the European colonization of 1788. It is important to note that, unlike the colonists who flocked to America, the early immigrants to Australia didn't go by choice, in a vast number of cases. Early Australia was a prison for the trash of the British Empire -- or at least a dumping ground for dangerous elements of British society. White Australia began as a convict nation -- a land settled by criminals. There was never a sense that this was a Promised Land, to be developed and built into a new Paradise on Earth, as was the case with America. Rather, Australia was a place to be hated and despised by the people who were sent there. On the Convict Creations website, it is mentioned that the "typical Australian ethos was developed by the convict, working-class, Irish and native born peoples". It goes on to add:

Why do so many Australians have tattoo's? America, the dream came true. The land was green and fertile. The British were expelled and politicians declared equality for all regardless of race or class. In Australia, the dream failed. The top soil was thin and droughts common. The Convict uprising at Vinegar Hill was ruthlessly crushed as was the Eureka rebellion 50 years later. Ned Kelly led a independence movement only to be captured and hung. Australia's politicians never preached the virtues of being Australian nor did they preach equality of race or class. Just when Gallipoli war hero, John Simpson, seemed to have built an aura of someone with divine protection, he was shot dead. Don Bradman needed only 4 runs in his last innings to achieve the magical average of 100 but was bowled first ball. Pharlap, the loser horse that became a champion, left Australia to prove his worth in America. He easily won his first race, and then died."

In a recent book, however, Australian writer and feminist Germaine Greer argues that Australian egalitarianism may have had an Aboriginal origin. In her book, Whitefella Jump Up: The Shortest Way To Nationhood, she writes: "Australian egalitarianism is usually perceived to be the result of the harsh circumstances that drove settlers to make the long journey halfway around the world and the fact that the free settler had scant reason to consider himself a cut above the emancipated convict, especially when so little stood between him and a conviction for poddy-dodging, cattle rustling or simply not having the necessary paperwork. The influence of the Aborigines in deflating whitefellas' pretensions to gentility has nowhere been considered. Australians still place great store on an individual's ability to do what he is asking others to do, whether in terms of endurance or skill or courage, and that too may be a part of their Aboriginal inheritance. You will not find it in Britain, where rank and class still count for more than any personal talent or skill."

She goes on to say: "Australians cannot be confused with any other Commonwealth peoples; they behave differently from Canadians, South Africans and even New Zealanders. It is my contention, diffidently offered, that the Australian national character derives from the influence of the Aborigines whose dogged resistance to an imported and inappropriate culture has affected our culture more deeply than is usually recognised. From the beginning of colonisation, the authorities' deepest fear was that settlers would degenerate and go native. In many subtle and largely unexplored ways, they did just that. Indeed, they may already partake in more Aboriginality than they know."

Writes The Guardian newspaper from England: "It is a compilation of every Australian cliche you could imagine - dusty outback scenes, exaggerated accents, blackfellas, boomerangs, even Rolf Harris and his idiosyncratic wobble board. Baz Luhrmann's anxiously awaited romantic epic Australia, the most expensive film in the country's history, had its world premiere today, receiving mixed reviews amid concerns it might not be the international box-office hit everybody had hoped for.
"'The word crikey is spouted so often the film often sounds like a tribute to Steve Irwin,' said Jim Schembri of the Melbourne Age. 'Luhrmann also seems so eager to trowel on the Aussie cliches -- obviously to appeal to the tourist markets! -- that Australia is often simply irritating.'
"With a budget of US$130m (£86m) and an A-list cast including Oscar-winner Nicole Kidman, Luhrmann's new movie is the most expensive, most ambitious and most hyped film ever made in Australia.
"Expectations riding on the film are high - its makers hope that it will revive the country's near-dormant film industry, save the ailing tourist market and tempt big-name directors to Australia - but the country's leading film reviewers are already saying it is too long and does not live up to the hype.
"Giving his verdict, veteran ABC critic David Stratton said: 'It's not the masterpiece we had hoped for ... Visually, it's very handsome, but Hugh Jackman says crikey and mate a lot and I think this film is made primarily for an eye on the international market, in particular an American audience.'
"The film tells the story of an aristocratic Brit (Kidman), who inherits an outback sheep station and has to save it by steering a herd of cattle across the country with the help of a man known only as The Drover, played by Jackman. Against the backdrop of the second world war the couple, of course, fall in love along the way. ..."